deconstructing the narrative

the sunny side of the street.

2009-05-15T18:36:00.000-06:00

it's all happening.

2009-05-11T19:01:00.011-06:00

(love this artist. the the shading, the way he captures the cheeks, those precocious eyes. stunning. instantly inspiring. something creative needs to be done. what? i have no clue. but looking at this piece will definitely provide some possibilities.)

1. miranda july

2. lovisa+burfitt

3. postsecret

4. mike monteiro

6. rune guneriussen

7. danny roberts/igor+andre

school can kiss my ass.

2009-05-03T16:15:00.006-06:00

(photo: married to the sea)

supercoolpartypeople.

2009-04-26T18:01:00.001-06:00

MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

mr freer. necessarily attached.

2009-04-26T17:58:00.001-06:00

record store day.

2009-04-18T12:54:00.003-06:00

i love this day. but the weather is so shitty. and the closest Independent store is downtown. but i don't want to miss the freebees. but i have a shit ton of homework. o but i want to go. AH! ok snow and homework disappear then i can go. yeah right. i'm totally going regardless. this day only happens once a year. and to all of you close to an Amoeba store GO and enjoy for me.

it's been one of those weeks.

2009-04-15T20:59:00.005-06:00

2. edouard plongeon

3. jamie isaia

o the snow the snow the snow.

2009-04-12T19:27:00.002-06:00

all it does is snow!

NO MORE.

no bueno.

no me gusta.

over the snow.

snow snow go away.

PLEASE PARTICIPATE.

2009-04-07T19:31:00.002-06:00

Hello everyone.

I'm working on a class project and NEED YOUR HELP.

Please click on the link below and fill out my survey about attitudes toward traditional gender norms.

(Have no fear! All responses are anonymous and confidential - answer as freely as you wish)

Click Here to take survey

where the wild things are. thanks richard&brenna for the heads up

2009-04-02T23:39:00.009-06:00

new discovery.

2009-04-02T22:30:00.002-06:00

WORDBONER. just the name alone is genius. here is a sampling of their HIGHlarious/genius creativity.

currently obsessed.

2009-03-30T23:20:00.007-06:00

go there now and explore...

the break is over.

2009-03-29T21:38:00.003-06:00

just a few things keeping my eyes open.

2009-03-27T19:39:00.009-06:00

1. stefan bruggemann

5.indexed

6. francesca-tallone

7. we make words

10. smosch

glad i'm not president.

2009-03-27T19:22:00.008-06:00

Obama's press conference was well...a little harsh, a little much, a little unfortunate.

but that's what happens when you take office from a rather incapable mr w.

and really obama's been in office for a little more than 60 days and has been incredibly visible.

he's everywhere. press conferences, publicized meetings with congress, town hall events, leno, filling out college basketball brackets. i mean come on. he's letting us know the details of his plans (budget, recovery, etc) and managing to include march madness publicity at the same time. impressive impressive impressive.

so you can follow the link below and listen to his press conference on 3/24 or read the transcript (as if you will...)

speech/transcript

but here was the brilliant quote from the not-so brilliant press conference.

obama was answering a question from a correspondent from ebony magazine

he was asked about the homeless issue (more like epidemic) in the US and obama provided a rather brilliant reply

"Now in the meantime, we've got to work very closely with the states to monitor and to help people who are still falling through the cracks. And you know, the homeless problem was bad even when the economy was good. Part of the change in attitudes that I want to see here in Washington and all across the country is a belief that it is not acceptable for children and families to be without a roof over their heads in a country as wealthy as ours."

Isabel + Obama = Happy Jazz

2009-03-23T19:20:00.004-06:00

The artistic talent of the Izz Bizz has found a place in Obamanation

(please note the "I voted" sticker with an arrow pointing to Obama--quite impressive for a 6 yr old)

magic show.

2009-03-16T22:36:00.002-06:00

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

battling exuberance one pill at a time.

2009-03-02T11:58:00.002-07:00

FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful

out out out.

2009-03-01T20:02:00.003-07:00

he still appears consistent.

out of iraq by 2010 (kind of)

perpetually on the road.

2009-03-01T19:36:00.001-07:00

o TCA. will you never learn??

2009-03-01T19:27:00.004-07:00

TCA in the spotlight yet again.

For some reason they are incapable of being transparent.

They feel it's best to hide the indecency found in their halls.

Pedophile teacher, overt acts of racism, death threats, bomb threats, sexual assaults in the elementary campus, and probably so much they have yet to reveal.

They only seem to feel the need to confront their issues when the media gets wind of the offenses.

They are too concerned with their image of the "character building" and supposedly "rigorous" academic institution to confess the increasing problems oozing from their halls.

krdo investigates The Classical Academy tonight.

Finally.

Expose those villains, those perpetrators of

OBAMA.

2009-03-01T19:19:00.005-07:00

Obama's Address:

Highlights: economy, energy, healthcare, education, and of course HOPE and RENEWAL.

Listen and read his speech here

(additional coverage from npr)

when we're old - a tribute to gumlia.

2009-03-01T19:07:00.004-07:00

commercialized landscapes.

2009-03-01T18:58:00.004-07:00

"80% of everything ever built in America has been built in the last 50 years, and most of it is depressing, brutal, ugly, unhealthy, and spiritually degrading—the village shopping plazas with their vast parking lagoons, the Lego-block hotel complexes, the junk food joints, the freeway loops around every big and little city with their clusters of discount merchandise marts, the whole destructive, wasteful spectacle that politicians proudly call “growth.” – James Kunstler

didn't we all.

2009-02-23T23:01:00.002-07:00

guide to recognizing your saints.

2009-02-22T20:44:00.005-07:00

michael cera...which role do you prefer??

2009-02-22T20:41:00.005-07:00

honesty/truth from our politicians?? can it be true?? o yes. yes it can.

2009-02-18T10:30:00.005-07:00

RECOVERY.GOV track the way the gov/obama chooses to use this ton of money

follow the sound.

2009-02-16T10:56:00.004-07:00

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

the time has come the walrus said.

2009-02-16T10:25:00.013-07:00

"The time has come," the Walrus said,

"To talk of many things:

Of shoes--and ships--and sealing wax--

Of cabbage--and kings--

And why the sea if boiling hot--

And whether pigs have wings."

-- Lewis Carroll

pot is a reality kick.

2009-02-09T10:50:00.004-07:00

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

"Pot is fun."

2009-02-09T10:26:00.010-07:00

HOWL -for Carl Solomon (by Allen Ginsberg)

(simply excerpts)

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by

madness, starving hysterical naked,

dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn

looking for an angry fix,

angelheaded hipsters burning for

the ancient heavenly

connection to the starry dynamo in the machin-

ery of night,

who were expelled from the academies for crazy &

publishing obscene odes on the windows of the

skull,

who thought they were only mad when Baltimore

gleamed in supernatural ecstasy,

who burned cigarette holes in their arms protesting

the narcotic tobacco haze of Capitalism,

who howled on their knees in the subway and were

dragged off the roof waving genitals and manu-

scripts,

who drove crosscountry seventytwo hours to find out

if I had a vision or you had a vision or he had

a vision to find out Eternity,

who dreamt and made incarnate gaps in Time & Space

through images juxtaposed, and trapped the

archangel of the soul between 2 visual images

and joined the elemental verbs and set the noun

and dash of consciousness together jumping

with sensation of Pater Omnipotens Aeterna

Deus

to recreate the syntax and measure of poor human

prose and stand

before you speechless and intel-

ligent and shaking with shame, rejected yet con-

fessing out the soul to conform to the rhythm

of thought in his naked and endless head,

What sphinx of cement and aluminum bashed open

their skulls and ate up their brains and imagi-

nation?

Moloch! Solitude! Filth! Ugliness! Ashcans and unob

tainable dollars!

Moloch whose mind is pure machinery! Moloch whose

blood is running money! Moloch whose fingers

are ten armies! Moloch whose breast is a canni-

bal dynamo! Moloch whose ear is a smoking

tomb!

Moloch whose love is endless oil and stone! Moloch

whose soul is electricity and banks! Moloch

whose poverty is the specter of genius! Moloch

whose fate is a cloud of sexless hydrogen!

Moloch whose name is the Mind!

Moloch whose buildings are judgment!

Moloch the vast stone of war! Moloch the stun-

ned governments!

Moloch who entered my soul early! Moloch in whom

I am a consciousness without a body! Moloch

who frightened me out of my natural ecstasy!

Moloch whom I abandon!

Moloch! Moloch! Robot apartments! invisible suburbs!

skeleton treasuries! blind capitals! demonic

industries! spectral nations! invincible mad

houses! granite cocks! monstrous bombs!

i'm looking for the people in charge.

2009-02-04T10:36:00.003-07:00

a gumlia introduction:

go see it. be thoroughly depressed.

and try not to smile.

o ted haggard. o new life. o colorado springs. o mecca.

2009-01-27T16:52:00.006-07:00

Why does the evangelical community feel the need to cover up issues of "immorality"?

Why does this community feel it has the right to neglect the issues of some and exploit those of others?

Why does it prey on the weak and vulnerable? Yet at the same time renounce anything remotely human?

Why do they focus all their attention, clout, influential position, wealth, and donations on issues such as abortion and same-sex marriage yet refuse to help those children that are alive and who can barely survive in this country?

Who cares for them? O that's right the people with little to no religious affiliation.

Isn't their message supposed to be mirrored after Christ? After the one who they claimed died for EVERYONE not just the privileged or the white or the rich?

Doesn't everybody struggle? Have problems? Isn't everyone "sinful" and selfish?

Isn't this why they claim we need a "savior"? Someone perfect, outside of us, to help us, protect us, love us?

Why have they made their Jesus so incredibly hateful and judgmental and cruel?

This is wrong. Their actions are immoral and inhumane.

Fuck. These people piss me off. (yet they are the same ones who also need the message of grace, the same message they tout yet refuse to extend to others).

Fuck. fuck. fuck.

O TED HAGGARD. O NEW LIFE.

bottom line:

ted is involved in another sex scandal.

ted abused his position and took advantage/brainwashed some unsuspecting member of new life.

new life, of course, tried to cover it up and paid the victim money in a settlement to keep his mouth closed.

at first the victim agreed and took the money but now he's exposing the crimes of ted (and still keeping the money)

what the fuck? how is this all allowed in the name of Christ?

fools.

More dirt here:

education's a bitch.

2009-01-27T13:26:00.005-07:00

photo: RUVAN WIJESOORIYA

OBAMA'S PRESIDENT.

2009-01-27T13:15:00.010-07:00

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path toward prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sanh.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction....

--OBAMA's inaugural address

thank you Dr. King

2009-01-19T19:38:00.008-07:00

An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity. MLK

The hope of a secure and livable world lies with disciplined nonconformists

who are dedicated to justice, peace and brotherhood. MLK

weave it like you stole it.

2009-01-18T17:17:00.005-07:00

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

it's been one of those kind of weeks.

2009-01-16T12:39:00.005-07:00

photo: jan welters

found: lolita

thank you marissa lopez

2009-01-14T23:07:00.002-07:00

finally. hipster frames.

2009-01-13T18:22:00.003-07:00

but not as cool as this broads

M.I.A. & Jazz -- separated at birth

2009-01-13T18:18:00.002-07:00

Frost/Nixon. Fascinating. Give it a go.

2009-01-11T15:39:00.003-07:00

feeling a bit overextended:

2009-01-09T21:02:00.002-07:00

(photo by: camille vivier)

constantly ingesting and inhaling to stay afloat:

2009-01-09T20:56:00.006-07:00

but no matter my current condition this always seems to help:

2009-01-09T20:49:00.011-07:00

channeling saul also appears to help--

2009-01-09T20:47:00.005-07:00

--me remember to look for the silver lining. OBAMA's president. OBAMANATION.

2009-01-09T20:39:00.006-07:00

the one and only marissa lopez.

2009-01-04T16:40:00.005-07:00

o how i miss you already.

once again. music re-mastered. thank you gumlia.

2009-01-04T16:35:00.004-07:00

slumdog millionaire.

2008-12-27T16:35:00.004-07:00

fantastic. beautiful. tragic. uplifting. romantic.

see it.

watch the trailer

or visit the website

trustworthy reviews:

rolling stones or the times or the village voice

richard freer vs. colorado springs.

2008-12-27T16:04:00.005-07:00

richard freer came to the springs. hahaha.

definitely took him to all the hotspots. you know.

focus on the family. TCA. new life. all the good ones.

he wished for snow and it obliged.

i've decided he needs to be here. someone to keep me sane.

song of the day. part 2.

2008-12-27T15:46:00.003-07:00

Discover The Spinto Band!

more info here:

the spinto band or at myspace

the OBAMA team.

2008-12-27T15:40:00.004-07:00

not only did we get mr. obama but now we have the indestructible Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Fantastic.

perhaps order, stability, peace, and equality will prevail.

(here's a peek at the other members of the obama team)

okok. music has been taken to a whole new level of genius.

2008-12-16T17:05:00.003-07:00

so thanks to the talent and genius at deezer.com i have discovered a whole new level of fantastic music possibilities.so yes yes please take a peek at the tunes on the sidebar (playlist: "the kids just want to dance")

BUT

now there is SO MUCH MORE.

now i will be featuring a SONG OF THE DAY because i'm pretty cool like that and we all need to discover new tunes or relive old ones.

so listen. love. enjoy. dream.

SONG OF THE DAY. department of eagles. no one does it like you.

2008-12-16T17:03:00.004-07:00

learn&listen here:

departmentofeagles.com

myspace/departmentofeagles.com

i am music. hear me roar.

2008-12-14T20:28:00.004-07:00

so the time has come. i have finally figured out how to upload music so you can hear the finest tunes around. or at least my favorite. or at least my favorite ones at the moment (they tend to change when it snows). but be forewarned the songs play from youtube and that is not always trustworthy so sometimes the songs will sound much different than when actually played from itunes or amazon. so if you can get past through the intro of some of the songs you will not be disappointed.

ANYHOO...

the songs are at the bottom of the page. so listen. love. dream. and check back for more.

hmm...after viewing MILK i feel the need to watch another franco classic.

2008-12-14T15:07:00.003-07:00

MILK-GENIUS-go watch now and be inspired.

2008-12-14T14:58:00.004-07:00

spectacular movie. amazing performances by all (well diego luna was a bit much). incredibly inspiring and kind of depressing. (o and amazing close up of my soul mate-james franco).

perfection. in that anarchist fucking nightmarish sort of way.

2008-12-11T22:22:00.004-07:00

and to those of you who saw and stayed...thank you

2008-12-09T14:43:00.021-07:00

...that's kind of a big deal i mean really now. big deal.

so to those who witnessed it all and still decided i was worth it--THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU

my other half gumlia, richard dear, hilarie hilarie, the now married jorjia, my best "driving" love ms lauren, the M in jam ms lopez, the also now married mrs magnuson and the A in jam. love you all.

things have changed.

2008-12-09T14:41:00.004-07:00

i think i just woke up for the first time in 22 years

"death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside of us while we live."

-norman cousins

maybe this country does have a chance...

2008-12-09T14:31:00.006-07:00

...maybe there is hope

MGMT:time to pretend:oracular spectacular

2008-10-04T02:02:00.003-06:00

"this is our decision

to live fast and

die

young...

so why not have some

fun"

"Generally speaking, a howling wilderness does not howl: it is the imagination of the traveler that does the howling."

2008-10-04T01:57:00.001-06:00

trying not to think

2008-10-04T01:51:00.001-06:00

always appreciating

2008-10-04T01:48:00.003-06:00

innocence.

2008-09-15T19:26:00.002-06:00

i miss it.

create. create. create.

2008-06-15T00:45:00.002-06:00

"men must live and create. live to the point of tears."

-camus

the hand that signed the paper felled a city

2008-06-02T17:23:00.003-06:00

The hand that signed the paper felled a city;

Five sovereign fingers taxed the breath,

Doubled the globe of dead and halved a country;

These five kings did a king to death.

The mighty hand leads to a sloping shoulder,

The finger joints are cramped with chalk;

A goose's quill has put an end to murder

That put an end to talk.

The hand that signed the treaty bred a fever,

And famine grew, and locusts came;

Great is the hand the holds dominion over

Man by a scribbled name.

The five kings count the dead but do not soften

The crusted wound nor pat the brow;

A hand rules pity as a hand rules heaven;

Hands have no tears to flow.

-- dylan thomas

death be not proud

2008-06-02T17:18:00.005-06:00

DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee

Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,

For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,

Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.

From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,

Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,

And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,

Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.

Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,

And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,

And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,

And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;

One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,

And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

-- john donne

change we can believe in

2008-05-31T18:00:00.003-06:00

"different IS NOT deficient."

--Rev. Jeremiah Wright

mix tapes

2008-05-12T17:24:00.005-06:00

1. wicked/winged things:sunset rubdown:random spirit lover

2. spring 2008:architecture in helsinki:fingers crossed

3. the air we breathe:figurines:when the deer wore blue

4. the rat:the walkmen:bows + arrows

5. slow show:the national:boxer

6. call it a ritual:wolf parade:apologies to the queen mary

7. crying at the aquarium:octopus project:identification project

8. don't love you:tv on the radio:desperate youth, blood thirsty babes

9. start over:the national:boxer

10. bloodhounds on my trail:the black angels:passover

11. very loud:shout out louds:howl howl gaff gaff

12. the pelican:menomena:friend and foe

13. up on your leopard, upon the end of your feral days:sunset rubdown:random spirit lover

14. windowsill:arcade fire:neon bible

15. skeleton key:margot and the nuclear so and so's

16. unsolved mysteries:animal collective:strawberry jam

17. the courtesan had sung:sunset rubdown:random spirit lover

18. nyc:interpol:turn off your bright lights

freedom. yet still imprisoned

2008-05-08T16:26:00.004-06:00

i am officially released from mind/mood altering medications

this is a trial period.

the overseers and i are a awaiting my fate.

will i survive on my own?

will i be buried by own inability to conform?

will i die?

am i to be trusted?

who am i not medicated? that is the ultimate question.

the question no one knows the answer.

will recovery prove successful minus pills?

that is the hope.

the outcome still remains unknown.

at last they breathe

2008-05-03T15:11:00.007-06:00

those once previously trapped, hidden from my sight, and stacked without care

are now visible

and are used to maintain sanity and perspective

*outlaw culture--bell hooks

*branded nation--james b. twitchell

*finding faith--richard flory,

PH.D. and donald e. miller, PH.D.

*brave new world--aldous huxley

*weight of glory--c.s. lewis

*modern social imagination--charles taylor

*united by faith--curtiss paul deyo

ung, michael o. emerson, george yancy, karen chai kim

*privilege, power, and difference--allan g. johnson

*cultures and societies in a changing world--wendy griswold

*reconciliation blues--edward gilbreath

*dandelion wine--ray brad

bury

*the great gatsby--f. scott fitzgerald

*1984--george orwell

*on the road--jack kerouac

*junky--william s. burroughs

*killing yourself to live--chuck klosterman

*a million little pieces--james frey

*"why are all the black kids sitting together in the cafeteria?"--beverly daniel tatum, PH.D.

*"howl" fifty years later--edited by jason shindler

*naked lunch--william s. burroughs

*blue like jazz--donald miller

*till we have faces--c.s. lewis

2008-04-20T21:17:00.007-06:00

Meet My Brother: Ken Kesey

A brief list/descriptions of the unfortunate comparisons found in the lives of Ken Kesey and Jazzmin Chacon

Ken Kesey

1. Born in Colorado (La Junta) and raised in a household of fundamental Christianity

2. 1959 Ken Kesey was involved in a “government drug research program that tested a variety of psychoactive drugs, including LSD, psilocybin, mescaline, and amphetamine IT-290. Over a period of several weeks, Kesey ingested these hallucinogens and wrote of his drug-induced experiences for government researchers. It was this experience that fundamentally altered Kesey, personally and professionally.”

3. Kesey enjoyed living life at his own discretion. Banding together with friends and drugs to celebrate life as they knew it, he and “the Merry Pranksters who openly used psychoactive drugs, wore outrageous attire, performed bizarre acts of street theater, and engaged in peaceful confrontation with not only the laws of conformity, but with the mores of conventionality. He and the Merry Pranksters became notorious for throwing parties in which certain chemicals mysteriously found their way into the punch.” They also enjoyed performing “their Acid Tests and use of LSD and other drugs.”

4. His addiction to the hallucinogens once prescribed by the government (in the name of research), coupled with his unwillingness to conform, eventually led to Kesey's arrest for marijuana possession. “When the government made LSD illegal, Ken and the Pranksters fled to Mexico.” But in 1965, he ultimately was arrested for possession of marijuana. He then served “a five-month prison sentence at the San Mateo County Jail.”

Jazzmin Chacon:

1. Predominantly raised in Colorado Springs, the haven of the narrow minded evangelical community, and was also subjected to much evangelical rhetoric, mind warp, and brainwashing.

2. Jazzmin discovered a way out of the evangelical fundamentalist conformity and falsely enjoyed a life of marijuana and excessive frivolity. The summer of ’07 encompassed times of carefree moral abandonment, irresponsibility and hidden deprivation notwithstanding. Perpetual marijuana use and one night stands were a constant.

3. Those who could not see past the illegal drug use, those who missed the pain and compensational purposes of said drugs found the narcotics unacceptable. Jazzmin could no longer see beyond the burdens that imprisoned her and those who betrayed her. Suicide attempt proved unsuccessful.

4. Methods of psychiatric conventionality were deemed a necessary solution. Pharmaceutical traditions were mandated. Implementing the sole use of psychotherapy was not permitted. Instead, numerous pills have been prescribed. If one drug proves useless another one quickly becomes its replacements. Jazzmin is currently being weaned off one drug and now taking three, THREE, doctor prescribed drugs in hopes of maintaining the serotonin levels and gaining increased motivation and energy. So far all efforts in the way of pharmaceuticals have proven futile. Jazzmin is at the whim of Big Business and her psychiatrist.

Although these comparisons are not without their obvious flaws, the reality of pharmaceutical drug use as a means in gaining permanent security is blatant. However, my story is still in process and maybe, just maybe, on the other side of this purgatory I will see the value of all that I currently detest and am ultimately subjected.

experience the bliss: RECORD STORE DAY.

2008-04-12T18:01:00.006-06:00

"rock'n'roll needs to be seen, touched, smelled, and tasted just as much as heard. i want the tactile, visceral, physical guts of it all. i want to unroll the poster, open the gatefold, explore the cover art and the liner notes...i want a totem that exists in the physical world...we just want the blood and filth of real life and the purity of ecstatic transcendence--neither of which are available at Wal Mart."

***sammy james, jr.-the mooney suzuki

"moonlit strolls?? fancy pants dinners?? no thanks, i would prefer to fall in love in the aisle of an independent record shop. see you there..."

***bryan garza-scissors for lefty

"you can't roll a joint on an ipod--buy vinyl!"

***shelby lynne

"the indie record shop is a global institution. it's a place that reflects history, the current state, and at times, can predict the future. identities are formed and molded at record shops when on discovers an artist, an album, a genre, that moves them to no end. it's a venue for human contact; a social HQ for all music fans and fans of all music."

***sam fogarino (interpol, magnetic morning)

suffocating in silence

2008-04-09T20:01:00.003-06:00

"i had seven faces

thought i knew which one to wear

I'm sick of spending these lonely nights

training myself not to care"

nyc. turn on the bright lights. interpol

gumlia said so

2008-03-29T14:53:00.002-06:00

although i have adamantly avoided this narcissistic form of self expression in the past

i have been influenced and thus inspired by the overseas adventures of m. lopez aka jaM,

the musings of dear richard,

and the witty media critiques of the renowned scuttlebutt author herself, c. gumlia

so here i begin

here i tell all

here i finally let you in

and although i once protected the severity of my insecure mind

and never would dare such a vulnerable venture

gumlia gave me her approval

so that makes everything ok

details of the war

2008-03-29T14:02:00.004-06:00

i fucking want to talk to mary.

while i am without her presence and support the need to escape into her oblivion has escalated

and in the absence of her pacifying nature i have decided to dwell on those moments when the lack of mental clarity provided emotional freedom

plus these are quite hilarious moments which must be documented

these musings of the once intoxicated soul must be appreciated dammit!

and honestly, all distractions have been stripped and i am left with my rambling thoughts and thus i turn to those sacred memories still preserved

these recollections i now affectionately title:

The Giant Tree In Suburbia

(in all fairness to authorship, lauren--the girl donning the white scarf--stumbled across this title after visiting mary at derek's house)

***what happens to starbucks partners who refuse to quit--performed by the girl donning the white scarf***

"so here, listen up. I am so fed up with glorified masochism that you blame others for.

You are a rumor spreading bitch who glorifies herself into a hopeless sexcipade with a desperate womanizer.

You make me sick, whenever I think about your sorry ass life I think about putting you out of your misery to come.

You are dependant.

You lack every skill possessed by man.

You have no sense.

We all see you as a stupid cow; you graze along the front line and moo at on comers, then you walk away to further graze in the back pastures leaving the work to farmers who serve you.

Inductive reasoning leads me to believe that Starbucks supports Hindu cultures by promoting and giving raises to fat ugly cows.

Emily S, Katie C, Michelle, Linda D, and Annie S, just to name a few.

As a fat ugly cow, you (emily) have no real purpose. Therefore rising you to the top level of management actually improves the morale and the productivity of others as you are no longer a large lump of lard in their way.

When things need to be done the productive farmers move the fat cows into the back fields so the farmers can have a larger marginal productivity of labor.

The fat cows enjoy this time as they get to pick their favorite treats and moo along with each other about mindless, gossipy banter that if others heard they would indeed leave you immediately for repulsion to your utter lack of any sense."

***ok ok now my turn***

"the victim's are countless

their is no end to their stupidity when mastered by insolence

they enforce a lack of personality yet nail that damn smile on your face with incentives of Breakfast Blend and Guatemala Antigua

why must such ignorance be fostered and appreciated?

why is the tolerance of the incompetence coddled?

where did the lies begin? How did they grow with such force when the roots are nonexistent?

guilty by association?

bullshit!

bullshit!"

(amazing when under the influence of the herb that my rantings turn toward the bucks

and must i remind all i am still employed? i am my own worst enemy)

**ok ok one more yeah?

during the summer of '07 lauren carstensen and jazzmin chacon embarked on an adventure that would forever solidify their friendship with each other and the empowering mary herself

enjoying the summer heat and marlboro lights we allowed our black lungs and wandering minds to purge pure genius or perhaps stupidity, not quite sure***

"this night consists of pure frivolity

submission to instinctive routine traps us with mind games of freedom and mild civility

yet those who seem altered by this base mechanism

will understand the power of deception and guidance into the unknown

and that is what is caught up in this organic symmetry

whoever is left out will then be denied access into disillusions

tarnished by simplicity

--lauren and jazz getting high with the vykaden mixed with a little alcohol and martini substitutes o and please do not forget the cigarettes

thank you and good night

6/20-21/07"

***and yet one more? one more you say? ok ok ***

"coffee cigarettes and good conversation

she threw up violently

water

liquid for this time is not what came to mind but the hand must continue to type for fear of loss of consciousness

dr reuter instilled the need to let the words flow allowing them freedom in their diversity and syntax

yet when coddled for so long, allowing mistakes and imperfections to be glossed over with an appropriately placed gold star adorning every page full of errors

there are too many run on sentences

but that is what ginsberg placed back into the hearts of those unwilling to conform

how could i have lost that word for so long

no more shall those who pass this patio deck allowed entrance into our cavern of smoke

that's exactly how i felt when i read it

so there be me and her and all our glory because

all are a little afraid of the after life or lack there of

of non existence

of not being immortalized

and forever remembered

yet that's ok if you are not a zombie like i currently am

but she knows allllll that she wants

and there are too many forgotten

i am losing my mind

--the end the sage of my 24hr trip to hell and back with lauren carstensen as my tour guide into this mania

ps lauren did not screw peter, emily snow, death to your smutty pussy beware if you wake up one morining to find you no longer have a vagina but instead you possess a rather limp dick

the end again"

i am satisfied.

the urge to return into mary's cavern has, for the time being, vanished and i am at last content to be "above the influence" (hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha)

goodnight

and

good luck